


What My Eyes Don’t See

by miss_pyru



Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 09:32:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16037735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_pyru/pseuds/miss_pyru
Summary: Jonghyun’s new nanny is sweet, weird and taken. He tries his best not to fall only to fail miserably.





	What My Eyes Don’t See

**Author's Note:**

> kid!AU, domestic!AU, tsundere!JR, nanny!Minhyun

Jonghyun feels like he’s drowning, or learning to float. He’s not sure.

“I must be out of luck or something,” he says with slight exasperation.

Because it’s not easy being a single parent, especially to four-year-old twins. He’s certain he’s doing his best though, or at least he tries to.

Every morning, Jonghyun manages to get the boys up and moving, feed them breakfast and get them dressed, but after that, he’s at work for the next ten hours. Hours he’d rather spend with his sons if he had the choice.

“I told you. I don’t mind taking your kids for the day,” Dongho says to him over the phone.

Jonghyun exhales into the receiver. “I know. But you can’t work when they’re running around all over the place. I just have to hope this lady is everything she says she is,” he says with feign optimism. “Based on her recommendations she’s supposed to be good.”

He hears the doorbell ring.

“I think that’s her. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Jonghyun hangs up. He grabs the candidate’s resumé from the kitchen counter and hurries to the front door. This better work out or Jonghyun is going lose it. He can’t bear to go through the process of acquainting the boys with yet another nanny.

But when he opens the door, Jonghyun’s abruptly at a loss when he sees who he wasn’t expecting to find.

It’s a guy.

Some tall guy, in all black, wearing a leather jacket and tight jeans, bundled in a long, knitted red scarf. He smiles widely, white teeth gleaming, his bright eyes filled with mirth.

“Annyeonghaesyo!” he greets.

Jonghyun gapes, bewildered. “Who the hell are you?”

The stranger courteously bows at Jonghyun and then holds out his hand. “Minhyun. I’m your new nanny.”

 

☆

 

“The agency told me you’d be a woman,” Jonghyun sputters, scanning the resumé to find where he misconstrued that part entirely. He checks the name again and sees that it clearly reads Lim Nayoung, not ‘Minhyun.’

“Did they not tell you?” The man exclaims in disbelief, and Jonghyun can see that he’s honestly surprised. “There was an emergency, and now Nayoung’s on sabbatical,” he tries to explain. “I just got back from vacation, actually. I was abroad for three months backpacking through Europe and across America. I took a ton of photos and videos, they’re all on my Instagram by the way—” He says this all rather quickly that Jonghyun has a hard time keeping up. “—Anyway, I really do apologize that no-one reached out to you about it, but based on your profile, I’d be your next best match since I’ve got experience in caring for twins, so… surprise! I guess? Here’s my resumé!” He shoves a hand into his messenger bag and pulls out a folded piece of paper.

It’s a little scrunched around the edges, but Jonghyun politely takes it from him and unfolds it. “Oh.” There it is. Next to his flawless profile photo is, _Hwang Minhyun_ , typed in bold, large script letters.

They stare intently at each other for a long moment while Jonghyun tries to think quickly. Minhyun’s gender is not a problem per se. The boys are certainly used to a lot of men in their lives, which, unfortunately, was the main dilemma. They could do with some female influence.

It also doesn’t help that Minhyun is good-looking and pretty at the same time, but that he also smells nice too.

“Is this going to be a problem? I can call the agency and have them talk to you if you’d like.”

Jonghyun blinks rapidly to regain focus and then shakes his head slowly. Problem or not, he will have to hire this guy for today. He’s already running behind, and his work schedule is filled to burst with meetings he can’t afford to miss.

“No. Please come on in.”

He leads Minhyun into the foyer. The boys are eating breakfast in the kitchen down the hall, but Jonghyun wants to go over the guidelines before they can be introduced. He listens for a second, and when he’s satisfied to hear no screaming, shattering glass, or loud thumping noises, he turns to Minhyun.

“OK. This is last minute, but I made a list of their allergies, food likes and dislikes, what they can and can’t do, all that stuff.”

Minhyun takes the list, skimming over it. “Perfect.”

“I wrote down all the numbers in any case of emergency,” Jonghyun continues. “If you need anything the housekeeper should be around. I can go over everything you need to know in greater detail tonight, but this should be good enough for today. I’ll be back at around six-thirty and we can discuss other arrangements then.” Jonghyun pauses. “Um, and what else? Oh, right. I’m gay.”

Minhyun glances up from the paper, his eyes wide. “Really?”

Jonghyun peeks his tongue out between his teeth in conscious thought. He didn’t mean to blurt it out like that. It had been a dilemma for a few of his former nannies in the past, so he needs to have it out in the open now.

“I hope it’s not an issue. The children understand what it means. I don’t want them to hear anything negative about it, not at home if I can help it.”

Minhyun nods understandingly. “I promise not to say anything negative. My boyfriend wouldn’t like that anyway.”

“Oh.”

It’s relief Jonghyun feels. Not disappointment.

Jonghyun clears his throat and watches as Minhyun brushes the long, dark bangs from his eyes. That soft smile graces his smooth pale complexion again, and Jonghyun’s stomach clenches, his face suddenly feeling warm.

Maybe he does feel disappointment. Just a little.

“Well, good. Um, let’s go meet the kids.”

Minhyun follows him into the kitchen where Joseph and Thomas are finishing their breakfast.

“Hey boys. This is Minhyun. He’s going to look after you today.”

They gaze up at the tall stranger with identical pairs of confused eyes, the only feature they really share with Jonghyun.

“Annyeonghaesyo.” Joseph, the more outgoing of the two, greets.

“Hey there,” Minhyun says, with a solemn wave of a hand.

More silence.

Yeah. This is going to work out great.

 

☆

 

Even though Minhyun has great references and the agency does a good job and screening their candidates, Jonghyun still spends most of the day worrying about his children. Sure, they’ve sent out a few narrowed-minded people previously, but they were narrowed-minded people who could keep children alive and well.

There’s really absolutely no reason for Jonghyun to worry at all.

He only calls home five times.

By the fifth time, Minhyun’s cheerful, “Yeoboseyo! Kim Residence!” changes to, “Oh my god, seriously? You need to calm down.”

“They’re my kids,” Jonghyun says grumpily. “They’re all I have in this world.”

“You mean besides a gorgeous mansion, two luxury cars, and a rugged hunk with tattoos all over his body?”

 _Rugged hunk? Tattoos?_ Then it hits him.

“Wait, do you mean Dongho? Is Dongho there?”

“Yeah, Dongho, he dropped by. The twins went crazy. They’re running in circles in the backyard.”

Jonghyun smiles. He feels better knowing that Dongho is there with the kids.

“So, is Dongho your boyfriend?”

“What? No! Why would you ask me that?”

He hears a faint pecking sound in the background, as if Minhyun is chopping something on a cutting board.

“The kids love him. He lit up around them. I just automatically assumed.”

“Dongho lights up around anyone,” Jonghyun points out. “He’s been my best friend since high school.”

It feels as though he’s defending himself from Minhyun, which is silly, really. It wouldn’t be any business of Minhyun’s if he were dating Dongho.

“What do you care anyway?” he mutters irritably, though the irritation should be directed towards himself.

“I thought it might be important information to have,” Minhyun says lightly, his voice smooth like velvet over steel, and Jonghyun feels like an idiot.

“Right. I’ll just... I’ll be home later this evening.”

“We’ll be waiting,” Minhyun sings, back to his cheerful tone, which somehow makes Jonghyun feel even worse.

He hangs up and returns to typing up his email. Maybe if he delegates some of his work to the staff, he could be home a few hours early.

 

☆

 

When Jonghyun arrives home that night, the house is eerily silent. He’s used to being knocked over by the boys and babbled at for half an hour.

“Hello?”

Minhyun appears before him as if out of thin air. Jonghyun tries not to jump in surprise but is only partially successful.

“Hello, Mr. Kim.”

Jonghyun cringes with slight discomfort. “Oh god, please don’t call me that.”

Minhyun cocks his head to the side. “What do you prefer then? Hyung? Sir? Sajang-nim, maybe?”

Jonghyun suddenly feels at a loss. The suggestive, subtle implications of role-playing and Minhyun’s adamancy to be so polite, flusters him. It’s ridiculous really. Jonghyun is the president of a major video-gaming company. He didn’t get there by letting people disconcert him.

“I mean, you don’t have to be so formal with me in my home. Where are my kids?”

“They ran away,” Minhyun says seriously.

Jonghyun glares at him, and Minhyun’s expression instantly brightens.

“I’m kidding! I gave them so much sugar earlier that they passed out.”

“What?!”

Minhyun laughs, and the genuine sound of it melts Jonghyun more than he likes to admit. “Gosh, you’re wound tight. They’re upstairs. Reading.”

Jonghyun continues to glare at Minhyun all the way up the stairs, but sure enough, the twins are safe and sound in Jonghyun’s study. They’re both curled up on the overstuffed couch in a fort made of fluffy blankets and pillows.

“Hey boys.”

“Appa!”

Thomas launches himself off the couch, and the pillow castle comes toppling down, his book tumbling with it. Thomas is the shyer of his boys and has a tendency to cling to Jonghyun. He wants both his kids to get along with Minhyun, but he has to admit, he’s slightly more worried about Thomas.

“Did you have fun today?” he asks gently, scooping Thomas into his arms.

“Yes, Appa,” Thomas says, his words all soft the way a little boy’s words always are, his skin smelling like baby lotion and strawberry soap. “Minhyun-hyung gave us books to read. He gave me one about dragons. That’s cool, right?”

Jonghyun nods. Thomas loves anything fantasy. Just like his father. “It is.”

“Joseph is about cars. Minhyun-hyung is really smart. Can we keep him?”

Thomas’ big, shiny eyes plead with Jonghyun. Over his shoulder, Jonghyun sees a hopeful look in Joseph’s eyes as well.

“Do you both like him?”

They nod with synchronized enthusiasm. Thomas rests his small palm over Jonghyun’s heart.

“Please, Appa?”

There’s no way he can refuse.

“Yeah, of course we can.”

Jonghyun leaves the twins to their books and goes downstairs to find Minhyun bundled back up in his leather jacket and obscenely long scarf.

“They like the books.”

Minhyun throws a triumphant fist in the air. “Awesome! I’ve gotten pretty good at judging the reading habits of kids.”

“Yeah, that’s good. They love reading.”

A lengthy silence hovers between them, not unlike the awkward pause at the end of a first date. Jonghyun consciously rubs the back of his neck as a distraction. There’s a bubbly feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he pushes it away. He oversees an entire business division on a daily basis. He can handle hiring Minhyun.

“So we’d like to try you out full-time,” he blurts suddenly.

Minhyun’s resulting smile is blinding. “Even more awesome,” he says cheerfully. “And you’d like a live-in nanny, yes?”

“Yes. There’s a large suite on the other side of the house that’s never occupied for this reason. I can show it to you before you make up your mind.”

Minhyun waves his hand airily. “No need. I already did some snooping around.”

“I— oh.”

“Just the rooms though,” Minhyun quickly assures him. “You can trust me to keep all your corporate and personal secrets, sajang-nim.”

Jonghyun hides his embarrassment with a low, vexing chuckle. At any other instance, like at the office, for example, the formality would be fine, even encouraged. But he can’t help the clenching in his gut with a rush of nerves when Minhyun says it.

“Please, just call me Jonghyun.”

“OK, Jonghyun-ssi... sajang-nim.”

The way Minhyun says his name. Why does he have to make it sound like that? Like it’s all tangled underneath warm blankets and silk sheets.

“Anyway, this isn’t going to be a problem with your boyfriend is it?” It’s not what he meant to say, but now that the question is out, Jonghyun realizes how much he wants to know the answer.

Minhyun, on the other hand, seems caught off guard. “Daniel? Oh no, don’t worry. Daniel isn’t that sort of boyfriend. He won’t mind where I live.”

“Right. Although, I’d rather you didn’t bring him here. I mean, I don’t bring dates home either. I don’t want strange men around my boys—”

Minhyun grabs Jonghyun’s gesticulating arm. “Hey, relax,” he says, all gentle and slow. “I’d never bring another man into your home. You hired me, yeah? So there’s nothing more important to me than your kids. I would never do anything to make them uncomfortable.”

Jonghyun forces down a swallow. The hand wrapped tight around his wrist feels self-assuring. The palm, warm and smooth. Jonghyun feels like everything has slowed down, like his stuck in molasses, like they’re underwater. For a split second, Jonghyun imagines that same grip with both hands, holding him down, keeping him in place, while he writhes and pants and—

“Right,” he repeats, jerking his hand away. “If you need help moving your things, let me know. Dongho and I can help you. I’ve got to—” He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “You know. Kids. We’ll do the, uh, paperwork tomorrow.”

Then he’s fleeing from Minhyun without a second glance, his body buzzing from sensations he hasn’t felt in a long time.

 

☆

 

Minhyun moves into their home a week later. Since the suite is fully furnished, it only takes an afternoon of lugging boxes to get everything inside. Then Minhyun kicks everyone out and spends the rest of the night perfecting the set-up of his new home.

Jonghyun makes it very clear with Minhyun that this section of the house is his alone, and that none of the Kim’s would be allowed in it unless invited. When Minhyun is finally settled in, the very first thing he does is cook dinner for the twins, and it warms Jonghyun more than what it is reasonable.

“A little handsome sajang told me that omelet rice with ketchup was your favorite,” Minhyun informs the twins, who giggle excitedly.

Jonghyun tries so hard not to smile.

 

☆

 

They fall into an easy routine after that. Minhyun works Monday through Friday until Jonghyun comes home. Every Thursday night he’ll cook dinner for the Kim’s. He doesn’t work on Saturday or Sunday.

Jonghyun can only wonder what Minhyun must do on his days off. He’s absent almost every weekend, so Jonghyun guesses he must be at his boyfriend’s place. The thought sparks Jonghyun into imagining what they must be doing. He starts to think things, bad things, like maybe they’re having hours of passionate sex, moaning and panting in pleasure, overwhelmed by sensations Jonghyun himself hasn’t felt in a long time, swept up and over the edge, plummeting down a waterfall of lust. Because they can. Because they’re in love. And when they’re done, all breathless and sated, they’re snuggled on the sofa watching movies until they fall asleep, warm and blissful next to each other.

He doesn’t like dwelling on it, but one night, after he puts the boys to bed and tucks himself under the covers in his own, lonely and unable to sleep, it’s hard not to think about it.

“Appa?”

Thomas’ quiet voice calls to him from behind his bedroom door. It creaks open an inch, letting a faint stream of light in from the hallway.

Jonghyun reaches over to turn on his bedside lamp. “What’s wrong, little one?”

Thomas comes in, his little footfalls pattering lightly across the carpet.

“I can’t sleep. Can I sleep with you?”

Jonghyun smiles happily, his heart feeling so full it could burst. He loves feeling needed. Everyone keeps telling him that eventually, the boys will grow out of not wanting to be around him so much. The thought scares the hell out of him.

“Sure, come on in.” He scoots over, lifting up the duvet. After Thomas settles in, cuddling up against his side, Jonghyun pulls him closer, tucking him under his arm and kisses the top of his head.

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“No.” Thomas sighs heavily. “I miss Minhyun-hyung.”

“He’s only gone for one night.”

“I don’t like it,” he says simply, the pout obvious in his tone. Jonghyun hides his smile in Thomas’ hair.

 _I don’t like it either,_ he thinks.

“Minhyun’s a grown-up. He’s allowed to have his own life,” Jonghyun asserts, ever the wise and responsible father.

Thomas huffs. “He could have a life here.”

Jonghyun can’t help the hand that tenderly strokes at the little mole on the left side of Thomas’ cheek. It’s the only one distinction he has from his brother, and how Jonghyun can sometimes tell who is who when the boys are splashing in the tub together during bath time.

“Well...” Jonghyun breathes out, swayed by his own son’s words.

Thomas fidgets under the blanket and then looks up at his father, his glassy eyes filled with curiosity and wonderment. “You could make him stay always, couldn’t you?”

With a deep sigh, Jonghyun stretches out an arm to turn off the lamp. “You should go to sleep, Tommy.”

 

☆

 

Jonghyun comes home one night to find the house smelling like burned sugar and cocoa.

The lights to the rest of the house are off except for the fragment of mellow light coming from the direction of the kitchen. Jonghyun sets his things down by the stairs and heads towards the sound of soft giggles and clatter.

He pauses, stopping in the kitchen door way to observe the three of them, and he’s surprised at how much it fills him with light, feeling a spark of warmth in his chest.

He can’t help it.

He can’t help it because Minhyun’s standing by the kitchen counter, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie with a pink polka-dot apron that stops at the top of his thigh because it’s too small. He has icing on his lip and flour all in his glossy hair, face drawn down in concentration as he mixes something in a bowl.

All over the counter, there are metal bowls filled with blue and yellow frosted icing, sparkly cake toppers and vibrant cake decorations in the shapes of rockets, planets, and stars. There is candy too, confetti, piping nozzles and blocks of chocolate scattered across the white granite, lit up by the chandelier overhead.

The twins bounce excitedly in their seats, dipping their fingers in one of the bowls with melted chocolate.

A giggle bubbles out of Joseph’s mouth, and the sound of it reminds Jonghyun of yellow daisies and sunshine. “Appa, look!” Joseph shouts. Minhyun jumps a little, but he grins brightly when he sees Jonghyun a few feet away. “We’re making cupcakes!”

Minhyun has white frosted icing splattered on his bottom lip, and Jonghyun suddenly has the urge to reach out and wipe it off, or lick at it, but he blames that on the fact that he’s exhausted, needing sleep, half out of it after a long day of having non-stop meetings. On the fridge, a crayon picture one of the twins drew of the four of them glares at him against the luminosity of the stark white kitchen.

“You’re making cupcakes?” Jonghyun coos in that gentle tone he uses on his sons as he bends forward to plant a kiss on Joseph’s head, and then does the same thing to Thomas. He looks up at Minhyun, frowning. “Cupcakes for what?” he asks, his voice returning to its grating, raspy state.

Minhyun shrugs, pushing the hair away from his eyes with the back of his hand, smearing flour there. “We’re going to go to the park tomorrow after school—” At that, the boys squeal and laugh in excitement at hearing the word ‘park’ “—and so I was thinking of bringing something for all the kids there, you know? So the boys can make new friends. And then, I thought, well, what’s the one thing that all children like to eat?”

“Cupcakes,” Jonghyun answers, biting the corner of his bottom lip to try to keep from smiling.

Grinning, Minhyun nods as he continues to whip the icing. His face is all flushed, light beads of sweat glisten on his face, making his skin glow, making his features look softer and delicate beneath the light that spills down over him.

“So, let me get this straight,” Jonghyun says, and he can’t even help the way his voice sounds overly fond as he slowly starts to move towards Minhyun, away from the boys so they can’t hear. The world around them somehow becomes calmer, quiet, and he’s still trying hard not to smile when he says, “You’re planning to bribe a bunch of other kids into being Tommy and Jie’s friend?”

“Hey, some of those kids could be five, or older,” Minhyun replies, and he looks at Jonghyun strangely like he’s the weird one. “And it’s not bribing, sajang-nim. It’s just, you know— suggesting.”

Jonghyun smiles without meaning to. He can’t help holding Minhyun’s gaze, probably a little too long then what’s considered appropriate between an employer and his employee before he looks away.

He decides to distract himself by dipping his own finger into the bowl of icing and slipping it into his mouth with a soft suck.

“Mmm, not bad,” he nods, licking his lips.

Minhyun says nothing, staring blankly at Jonghyun, eyes fixed somewhere on his mouth.

“What?” Jonghyun wipes at his mouth with the back of a hand. “Do I have icing on my lip?”

Jonghyun thinks he imagines it when he sees Minhyun’s eyes turn dark.

 

☆

 

“So I take it everything’s working out with Minhyun then?”

Jonghyun makes a prolongation out of chewing and swallowing his latest bite of meat so he can delay answering Dongho.

Every Wednesday night, Jonghyun and Dongho meet at their favorite barbecue restaurant for drinks and grilled meat. It’s been a routine of theirs for years even before the twins were born. Unfortunately, Jonghyun’s acutely aware of the fact that he has spent a good part of their entire meal talking non-stop about his nanny again.

“Uh, yeah. He’s been really good with the kids, they’re attached to him at this point. He’s pretty weird, but they respond well to it.”

“They aren’t the only ones,” Dongho comments lightly, with a knowing smile, his eyes crinkling.

“Shut up.”

“Well, I’m serious,” Dongho speaks in a stronger tone. “Every time I see you, you look more… happier… infatuated.”

Jonghyun can’t help frowning at that. “Infatuated?”

“You know what I mean. You’re acting like a schoolboy with a serious crush.”

“He’s just... you know... he’s good-looking and funny is all,” Jonghyun evades. “But he works for me, and he’s got a boyfriend, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Have you met him yet? How serious are they?”

Jonghyun shrugs, indifferent. “I have no idea, I’ve never met him. He doesn’t talk about him, actually. Does it matter? I’m not going to break them up.”

“No, I know.” Dongho smiles gently. “You’re too good for that.” He takes a swig of his beer, and his smile melts into concern. “On the other hand, it’s not going to get any easier to get over a crush when you’re living with him, and he’s taking care of your children.”

“If you’re worried about me getting hurt, don’t be,” Jonghyun interjects. He avoids having to look at Dongho by throwing a few slices of marinated beef on to the grill pan. He watches it sizzle, the thin smoke a hazy barrier between him and his perceptive bastard of a friend. “I’m not an idiot. I know he’s off-limits.”

“Uh huh.”

“What?”

“You may not be an idiot,” Dongho says, and it almost sounds like he’s giving Jonghyun a warning. “But your heart might be.”

Jonghyun sighs lowly, ignoring Dongho’s implication at the past. “Whatever, man. You’re the idiot,” he jokes.

“Maybe,” Dongho teases back, grinning again. “But I’m not wrong.”

 

☆

 

Dongho isn’t wrong. The last time Jonghyun was sent reeling by his physical attraction to someone, it hadn’t ended well. Jonghyun can still taste the animosity on his tongue whenever he thinks back on it.

It’s been four years since Minki had left him, and while it doesn’t hurt as much anymore, he’s still cautious.

He might be a little lonely right now, but he doesn’t like to hang around in relationships long enough to give someone a chance to break his heart again. He’s fine with having high-school crushes, to go on dates that lead to nowhere.

He knows what he needs to do. He has to re-train his mind to put Minhyun in the ‘unattainable’ category.

That, and maybe find a way to get laid.

As he gets out of the coupe and makes his way into the house through the garage, Jonghyun wonders whether he should call someone he already knows or go out in search for a new conquest. He’s not really into having random hook-ups, but sometimes, they have their benefits. It’s been a long time since he hit the clubs and bars. Maybe Dongho could come with him as moral support.

His thoughts quickly derail, however, at what he sees when he enters the living room.

Minhyun is lounging comfortably in the middle of the sofa watching TV. Joseph and Thomas are on either side of him, fast asleep, their heads resting against Minhyun’s chest.

Jonghyun’s heart squeezes.

A bar. He’s definitely going to a bar.

 

☆

 

Night falls, and everything is covered in shadow and moonlight, the whole world flooded in darkness. The navy painted bedroom is washed out by the lunar’s glow, the silver scattered decals shaped like stars and planets on the walls glitter and shine— But Thomas and Joseph’s faces are glowing beneath a stream of light pouring in from outside, and Jonghyun thinks that they’re the most beautiful and perfect things in the world.

Thomas is laying on his stomach with one arm wrapped around a plush brown teddy bear, his head poking up out of the blanket, all soft and baby-like. Meanwhile, Joseph is the exact opposite, flat on his back, limbs splayed out all over, his blanket twisted and bunched all around himself.

Just like Minki, Jonghyun thinks, and he feels a pang in his heart. Just a little.

Silently, he watches the glimmering stars and planets sparkle above their heads, almost like their swirling and expanding, reflecting off the moonbeams that slice through the dark. Jonghyun watches the boys for a few seconds longer, listening to their quiet breaths, and when he’s satisfied that his two sons are sound asleep, he steps back out into the hallway and makes his way downstairs to look for Minhyun.

He ends up finding Minhyun in the kitchen.

Jonghyun makes his presence known by softly greeting the other man. “Hey there.”

“Hey.” Minhyun turns to smile that sunny smile at him. “I was just about to make some tea. Do you want any?”

“Yeah. Please.”

Minhyun opens up one of the cabinets and takes out two mugs, placing them on the counter. The kettle whistles and bubbles just as he fishes out the container of ginseng and the jar of honey from the pantry.

Jonghyun stands by the counter and silently watches Minhyun, mesmerized at the same time appreciating at how wonderfully domestic this all seems. Everything about this scene is warm and cozy and comforting. But then he remembers that Minhyun doesn’t belong to him and so it doesn’t even matter. Because Minhyun is just the nanny, and more importantly, Minhyun is a taken man.

Minhyun places Jonghyun’s cup in front of him and smiles gently, almost shyly. He’s standing a little too close, Jonghyun thinks, way too close that he can practically feel Minhyun’s warmth spilling out into the space between them. A match that lights up the dark.

Jonghyun pretends it doesn’t sway him.

“Minhyun—”

“Jonghyun—”

Minhyun chuckles, this nonchalant, breathless sound, and Jonghyun can feel the familiar cramp building inside, like his stomach is twisting into a knot that stretches all the way up to his lungs.

“You go first,” Minhyun says, suddenly appearing confused and mildly concerned.

Jonghyun darts his tongue out, wetting lips gone suddenly dry. “Yes, so, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?”

“Oh?” Minhyun stares at him, eyes impaling his with a glittery stare, and Jonghyun feels like he’s quickly losing his thoughts, the words jumbling together.

“Well, not a favor so much,” Jonghyun continues, stumbling. “I mean it is, but it isn’t, because I’d pay you, plus overtime, and I could even give you extra—”

“Shh...” Minhyun lifts a hand and gently presses his fingers against Jonghyun’s mouth. “Calm down first, then ask me. I’m sure I’ll say yes.” The words spoken wisp gently across Jonghyun’s face along with the other man’s warm breath.

Jonghyun stops dead in his tracks, his cheeks burning. It’s dim in the kitchen with the lights turned low, so it’s ridiculous to think the other man can see it, let alone know the reason for it.

Minhyun withdraws his hand. “OK, now speak.”

The spot on his lips where Minhyun has touched him tingles with prickling heat, his body wrought with tension and his heart is pounding. He turns away from Minhyun to fiddle with his tea, even though the infuser is doing its job. He forces out the words even though they sound foreign on his tongue.

“Yes, uh, right. So, I was wondering if you could work late on Friday night?”

“I believe so,” Minhyun says, smiling softly. “Is something happening at work?”

Jonghyun lifts the tea to his lips. Taking a sip, the liquorice taste of the ginseng steels his nerves, and he turns back around, gazing over the cup at Minhyun. “No, I just thought I’d go out. It’s been too long since I dated.”

Minhyun drops the spoonful of honey on to the counter with a loud clatter.

Startled, Jonghyun nearly spills his tea on himself.

“Sorry!” Minhyun blurts, as if the clatter wasn’t a distraction. He hastily grabs a cloth to wipe the mess. “Dating, huh? Anyone we know?”

Jonghyun frowns a bit, wondering why it would matter to Minhyun. It’s not like it’s his business who Jonghyun decides to date or not. “No, I meant I was going to meet people.”

“Oh, right. Well, that’s good.” Minhyun is staring straight into his tea as he stirs. “Although you know, you should be careful. There are a lot of people out there who wouldn’t be good around young kids.”

“I wasn’t planning on bringing anyone here,” Jonghyun snaps, a hint of irritation catching at his thoughts. He’s already heard it all from Dongho. The last thing he needs is a lecture on how to date while being a parent, especially from his nanny. “But rest assured, if I did, it only be after I knew them very well.”

Minhyun doesn’t say anything for a long time, he just continues to stare at his tea, like he’s hypnotizing it. Stirring his spoon long after the honey has already dissolved.

“Minhyun?” Jonghyun tries to steer the other man’s attention. “Are you able to do what I’m asking?”

Minhyun’s head shoots up, and Jonghyun is caught off guard when he doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him. The glitter in Minhyun’s eyes are gone, vacant. His expression oddly cold.

“Yes, I can work,” he declares abruptly, and then without saying anything further he turns to leave, the ginseng untouched on the counter.

Jonghyun stares at him, bewildered, watching the back of Minhyun as he disappears into the darkness of the hallway, wondering what the hell his problem is.

 

☆

 

The bar is stifling and crowded. Almost as soon as Jonghyun walks through the door, he remembers why he always hates coming to these places. He’s ferociously grateful that Dongho has agreed to come along.

Dongho may look and be rough around the edges, but inside, he’s all sunshine and sugar sweet. Of course, no-one really knows this except for Jonghyun, and if anyone bothered Jonghyun, Dongho could become the biggest cockblocker these men had ever seen, when he’s not busy cockblocking himself.

Jonghyun feels sorry for the other men eyeing Dongho with a sort of ravenous look if he weren’t so determined that he needed Dongho here.

“You could score so much in here,” Jonghyun comments, and Dongho laughs.

“If I were going to go gay, I’d have asked you out ages ago,” he jokes, throwing his muscular arm around Jonghyun’s slender shoulders and reaching up to squeeze his cheek. “I’m going to get drinks. Go. Find someone. Stop looking like I dragged you here against your will.”

He pushes Jonghyun towards the crowd and disappears in search of booze.

Jonghyun seems to be getting as much attention as Dongho. He sometimes forgets in the midst of raising kids and spending his days surrounded by oppressive straight guys that he’s actually not an unattractive man. The appreciative glances sent his way makes Jonghyun think that if nothing else were to come out of this evening, it would be a good idea for his self-esteem.

“You look a little lost.”

Jonghyun turns towards the deep, whiskey-laced voice belonging to a man taller than him with bleached blonde hair. He gives Jonghyun a smile, his head tilting to the side, almost innocently.

Jonghyun returns it cautiously. “I haven’t been here in years, actually.”

“Ah, I see. Just getting out of a relationship?”

For a moment, Jonghyun feels invaded, threatened, but then he remembers where he is. Small-talk. Getting to know someone. The precursors of relationships or one-night-stands, or both.

“Uh, no, actually. Just haven’t had the chance to get out much.”

The man’s eyes travel from Jonghyun’s lips, to his adam’s apple, to his chest then lower, his eyes lingering a moment over the zipper of his jeans. Heat flashes through Jonghyun, but it’s not the pleasant kind. Instead, he feels uncomfortable. Embarrassed.

“I’d say not. You’d have been snapped up by now.” The man bites at the corner of his bottom lip, his eyes lifting to meet Jonghyun’s wary gaze with decided interest. He stalks forward, forcing Jonghyun against the wall behind him. “What’s your name, starlight?”

Jonghyun raises an eyebrow at the nickname, seemingly unimpressed, but answers without comment.

“Jonghyun.”

“Jonghyun. That’s a handsome name. I’m Daniel. You want to get out of here, Jonghyun? Go some place with a little privacy?”

A crooked realization settles over him that pushes Jonghyun to the edge of his comfort zone. Something feels off. It feels _wrong_. Exactly what he came here for and precisely what he doesn’t want.

He doesn’t want someone random or something fleeting. He wants someone that he’s knows and trusts, someone that he likes.

With a light shove, he pushes Daniel back. “Yeah, I don’t think so, man.”

Disappointment flashes in the man’s dark eyes, but Jonghyun doesn’t wait for his response. He plunges back into the crowd towards the bar where he finds Dongho chatting merrily with the bartender.

“Jonghyun! Hey, Aron here is from America! Can you believe it?”

Jonghyun snorts. Dongho can find a friend anywhere. “Yeah, amazing. Look, I think I’m just going to go.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I’m just... you know...”

Dongho nods, and Jonghyun knows immediately that he understands. He watches Dongho toss a couple of bills on the counter and shakes Aron’s hand, promising to meet him later for lunch the next day.

“He knows you’re straight, right?” Jonghyun asks with a smirk.

“Of course,” Dongho replies with a hearty laugh. “Bars are for meeting friends too, you know.”

Jonghyun snorts again, thoroughly amused.

“Come on.” Dongho throws his arm around Jonghyun’s shoulders once more. “The night is young. Let’s go see a movie or something.”

 

☆

 

When Jonghyun returns home that night, he doesn’t expect to find Minhyun in the living room, sitting on the sofa, arms crossed over his chest.

Minhyun is giving him a look he’s never seen before. He looks pissed, or disappointed. Jonghyun can’t tell. Suddenly, he’s worried that something must’ve happened to the twins.

“Minhyun?”

“The boys are in bed,” Minhyun boldly announces. “I take it you had a nice time?”

Jonghyun frowns at hearing the coldness in Minhyun’s tone, and it baffles him. “With Dongho, yeah.”

Confusion seeps into Minhyun’s narrowed eyes. “Dongho? What happened to the bar?”

Jonghyun shrugs. “It didn’t work out.”

“Oh.”

Then there’s just silence, a long endless moment of quietness that stretches on until Jonghyun can’t take it anymore. But just as he is talking, Minhyun is talking too.

“I’m going to go check on—”

“Are you in love with Dongho?”

Jonghyun actually stumbles mid-step, staring dumbly at Minhyun. “What?”

“I know you told me you weren’t dating him and I know he’s straight, but... actually, never mind, it’s none of my business. Good night.”

Minhyun stands, and Jonghyun catches his arm before he can walk away, gripping him tightly.

“Stop.”

Jonghyun’s not angry or annoyed, but he thinks he understands what Minhyun is feeling. As complicated as it all is. Maybe it’s the same feeling Jonghyun gets every time he thinks of Minhyun with Daniel.

Drawing Minhyun close, Jonghyun speaks low, his tone serious. He wants to make it very clear. “I’m not in love with Dongho.”

Minhyun’s throat moves around a deep swallow, his eyes fixed on Jonghyun’s lips. He nods slowly.

“Alright.”

The world around them seems to spin slow, slowly, then slower, but Jonghyun’s heart beats fast.

They stay like that for a long while, each looking his fill for a strange moment that seems endless. That is until the wall clock strikes the hour and Minhyun tears his gaze away.

The moment shatters, and suddenly Jonghyun feels as though it were a mere instant. One he wishes he could repeat again and again.

“Sorry,” Minhyun whispers. “It really isn’t any of my business. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

Jonghyun watches him leave sadly.

Where there was an overload of thoughts just a minute ago, there’s just a vacuum now.

 

☆

 

In the middle of pondering all of the theatricalities of life that same night, Jonghyun slowly slips into unconsciousness, his body slack as his mind loosens.

He drifts into a world of unexplainable dreams. Dreams that involve two little boys and a handsome, very sweet, very kind man who takes care of them. He dreams morph into something more; his hands wrapping around a firm waist, his lips melting against the wet warmth of another’s lips, his hips thrusting gently against something soft and unexpectedly solid at the same time. Dreams where everything he has repressed since Minhyun blasted into his existence comes surging towards the surface, intent on making itself known. His hand glide through soft, midnight silky hair, his eyes staring into deep twin pools of liquid coal. His lips longing for the taste of something not quite forbidden yet completely out of reach.

His body writhes with barely restrained excitement, his mind continuing to float.

“Minhyun,” he groans, breathlessly.

“Jonghyun,” the other answers, and the voice sounds so wrecked that Jonghyun feels the pleasure infinitely more desperate and unsatisfied. He wants to feel everything in its entirety, to lose himself in the sensations the other man is giving him.

“Minhyun,” Jonghyun whispers, pressing his pelvis forward.

But he’s left cold and unfulfilled. His head drops back in disappointment. He can still feel the weight of a heavy body pressed against his, but no matter how many times he pushes forward, or how much he begs, Minhyun’s warm touch doesn’t materialize again, and Jonghyun begins to ache, a blunt, painful throbbing in his groin that no amount of moving can relieve.

He wakes up from the dream the next day with the worst case of morning wood.

“Fuck,” he grumbles, and crawls frustratingly out of bed.

 

☆

 

In order to get through the day with cheer, Jonghyun decides to take the kids out for a fun activity day. When he asks them at breakfast what they would like to do, they enthusiastically shout answers declaring the science museum the obvious winner. So after the twins are fed, washed and dressed, the three Kim boys venture off to the excitement of the science museum in the city.

He’s forgotten how fun the museum can be. Joseph and Thomas drag him all over the exhibits, pointing excitedly at displays of dinosaur bones and weather systems and nineteenth-century machinery. The place is crowded with parents and kids, some of whom the twins know from school. Jonghyun has to fight off the sly suggestions from a few single mothers, but all in all, they have a great time.

Once the twins are tired of the museum, they beg Jonghyun to go down to the riverfront where they can get ice-cream and feed the ducks. He has never been that great at denying them, and besides, he wants to see the ducks too, so they set off.

“What flavor do you want?”

“Chocolate chip cookie! No! Strawberry! Um... can I have both?”

Jonghyun raises an eyebrow at the ice-cream man, who chuckles with delight. “OK, chocolate chip cookie dough and strawberry for Jie. Tommy?”

Thomas hooks his finger in Jonghyun’s belt loop and mutters, “Caramel fudge,” into his hip, his face turning bright red.

“Right. Caramel fudge for Tommy and I’ll have the butter pecan.”

The ice-cream man smiles kindly at him and begins to fix their order. Jonghyun is about to immerse in conservation and ask how the man’s day has been so far when Joseph takes off like a missile, stumbling towards the concrete steps dotted with families and young couples.

“Joseph!”

Jonghyun grabs Thomas and spares the ice-cream man a worrying glance. “Be right back.”

The reason for Joseph’s sudden running away becomes very apparent, and while Jonghyun’s heart is still in his throat, relief courses through him when he sees Joseph with his arms wrapped firmly around Minhyun’s waist.

“What are you doing here?” Joseph asks excitedly, jumping up and down. “Did you come to feed the ducks?”

“How’d you guess?” Minhyun asks, grinning down at him. “Hello, Jonghyun, Tommy.”

“Hey,” Jonghyun gives Joseph a stern look. “Didn’t I tell you never to run away from me in public?”

“But it was Minhyun-hyung,” Joseph says, confused. “Minhyun-hyung isn’t public.”

Minhyun snorts with laughter. “I should say not.”

“It’s also Minhyun’s day off. We should leave him alone.”

“Oh, it’s OK—”

“Here’s your kimbap, babe.”

Another man is suddenly in their presence, handing a foiled wrapped kimbap roll to Minhyun and frowns at Joseph. Minhyun smiles at him.

“Hey. I want you to meet my sajang and his children. This is Kim Jonghyun. The cutie here is Joseph, and this is his identical twin brother, Thomas.”

Daniel reaches out to shake Jonghyun’s hand, but stops short when the recognition, now stealing Jonghyun’s breath, finally hits him.

It's the same exact Daniel from the bar. The young man who asked Jonghyun to leave with him, asked him with very obvious sexual interest. Of course, Jonghyun should have known it wasn’t simple coincidence. How many Daniel’s are there in this part of the world?

“Oh. Hey,” Daniel greets nervously, glancing quickly at Minhyun.

Rage. Blinding and boiling up in a way that Jonghyun hasn’t felt in years. Not since his breakup with Minki. He grips Daniel’s hand tightly, squeezing as hard as he possibly can, bone crunching bone.

“So nice to meet you, _Daniel_ ,” he grunts through clenched teeth. “We’ll just leave you two alone. Joseph, come.”

His hard tone leaves no room for negation. Joseph slips away from Minhyun, coming to Jonghyun’s side and frowning at his father as they march away from Minhyun and his asshole of a boyfriend without another word.

Because otherwise, Jonghyun’s actions might cause a scene.

 

☆

 

Jonghyun sits forward on the couch; his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together, watching Minhyun’s face closely. Shock steals all other emotion from Minhyun’s normally expressive eyes.

“Minhyun? Should I not have told you?”

“No,” Minhyun speaks immediately. “No, you should have told me.”

Relieved to Minhyun’s acceptance, Jonghyun knows he couldn't keep Daniel’s indiscretion a secret. Not since it meant the possibility of the greater hurt if Minhyun actually catches him with someone.

“I mean, if he’s doing that... something must be wrong—”

“He’s been cheating on you, Minhyun,” Jonghyun interrupts, anger flaring. “If something is wrong, you talk. You don’t go looking for someone else.”

Minhyun is still not looking at him. His eyes are firmly fixed on his clenched fists in his lap. Jonghyun wishes he was allowed to comfort. A particular notion that would probably complicate things further for Minhyun if Jonghyun were to reach out and hold him in his arms, hold him close.

“I need to talk to him. He’s not... we were never exactly the greatest love story ever told, but he wasn’t that.” His gaze suddenly snaps up to Jonghyun’s face. “I need to talk to him.”

Jonghyun nods. “I can stay home today.”

“Oh no, don’t.” Minhyun fidgets stiffly in his seat. “No, I can wait until tonight.”

The way he’s wringing his hands and shifting around uncomfortably, Jonghyun greatly doubts that. In this state, he would be distracted and upset all day, which would, in turn, infect the kids.

“I don’t mind, Minhyun. In fact, I insist. Just go and... sort it out,” he presses, though the words dearly want to get caught in his throat. But if repairing his relationship with Daniel makes Minhyun happy, Jonghyun will smile and bear it.

“I... It’s just... I don’t want to,” Minhyun confesses in a small voice. “I mean, I do, but—” _But it could mean everything might change._

Jonghyun can’t help himself. He stands and drags Minhyun with him, encasing the larger man in a hug. There’s a terrifying moment where Minhyun is taut in his arms, when Jonghyun worries he’s made a mistake, but then Minhyun relaxes so completely that Jonghyun practically has to hold him up.

“I just... I think I know how I hurt him,” Minhyun cries in misery, his face pressed into Jonghyun’s neck. The drops of tears fall against his skin. Somehow, they burn him.

Jonghyun only holds him tighter.

 

☆

 

Jonghyun is just as nervous as Minhyun would be. The kids pick up on it, but he’s had years of practice hiding his negative emotions to protect his sons. They’re worried about Minhyun’s ‘doctor’s appointment,’ but overjoyed to have their father home, so it’s easy enough to distract them.

When Minhyun doesn’t come back before their bedtime, the twins’ concern becomes a little harder to repress.

“What if the doctor found something bad?” Thomas asks worriedly, as Jonghyun pulls the blanket over him.

“I think it was just a check-up,” Jonghyun replies vaguely. He hates lying to the children, but telling them that Minhyun went to talk to his cheating boyfriend is out of the question.

“Then why isn’t he back?” Joseph demands from his bed.

“Because I gave him the whole day off. He probably went to visit some friends,” Jonghyun explains patiently.

“He never does that,” Joseph complains. “He stays here all the time.”

Jonghyun pauses in the middle of smoothing Thomas’ blanket down.

It’s true. Minhyun rarely goes anywhere else, and when he does, it’s always to see Daniel. Jonghyun knows that most of Minhyun’s friends are the people he met through Daniel. Guilt flashes through Jonghyun. Intellectually, he understands it isn’t his fault that Daniel hit on him, but he can’t help feeling partly responsible for the fact that Minhyun might lose someone that he loves dearly. Jonghyun knows exactly what that feels like.

Unless, of course, they made up.

“Well, he did today,” Jonghyun finally says. “Now it’s time to sleep.”

The boys whine and moan as usual. Jonghyun has to put them back to bed twice before they eventually fall asleep.

Then he goes to wait for Minhyun in the living room.

Presumably, he puts on a movie he’s watched at least ten times, but even Jonghyun isn’t dense enough to pretend it’s a cover to waiting up for Minhyun. Even if Minhyun would even come back tonight.

He’s halfway through the movie when a key rattles in the door. Jonghyun turns the volume down, but not all the way off so as to not be entirely obvious.

“Hey,” Minhyun mumbles once he’s inside. He sounds tired and his expression melancholy, but any evidence of that morning’s shock disbelief has departed. He doesn’t look devastated, just... sad.

“Hey.”

Jonghyun wants so badly to ask how it went, but it’s none of his business. So Jonghyun just settles for, “Are you OK?”

“Better than I thought,” Minhyun answers softly. He shuffles his feet across the floor and slumps into the space on the couch next to him.

Sighing, he says, “We broke up.”

Relief wars with his sadness for the other man and, Jonghyun is not ashamed to admit, relief wins. Still, he hates seeing Minhyun so upset.

“I’m sorry.”

Minhyun exhales heavily. “Yeah. But it was inevitable, you know?”

Jonghyun turns to look at him. “Was it?”

“Yeah,” he answers, staring straight ahead at the TV, unblinking. “You see, I was… I was cheating on him too.”

Surprise jerks Jonghyun into sitting up. “What?”

Something in his stomach twists and mutates, growing tendrils, wrapping thorns around his heart. It feels like something heavy and aching, weighing his heart down to his feet. Even though Minhyun doesn’t belong to him, he can’t help it, the feeling appalling him even more than Minhyun’s confession.

“You give me weekends off,” Minhyun explains, not looking at Jonghyun. “But all my nights during the weekday are free. I never went to him. I… I always stayed here.”

Jonghyun feels as though he’s clearly missing something as he stares attentively at Minhyun in astonishment. “I— I don’t understand.”

Minhyun turns to look at Jonghyun, his gaze locked on him. “Don’t you?” Jonghyun is unable to look away. Minhyun’s eyes have that tendency to catch and hold, captivate. “I stayed with the people I wanted to stay with. Maybe it wasn’t physical cheating, but it must have felt the same.”

Jonghyun releases a pained little grunt in the back of his throat, his features instantly melting into a bitter, guilty grimace.

Minhyun slides his hand slowly across the space between then, curling his little finger around Jonghyun’s, and Jonghyun can scarcely breathe with it. They’re barely touching, only just connected by a whisper of skin and yet Minhyun’s touch feels incredibly heavy. Too much and not enough.

Half of him wants to push Minhyun away, the other half wants to gather Minhyun close, so he doesn’t have to see the dejected look he wears right then. But neither half wins so Jonghyun can only manage to grunt, “It doesn’t excuse him to do what he did to you.” No matter the justification, Jonghyun knows he will never forgive Daniel for hurting Minhyun.

“I know.” Minhyun puts his hand on Jonghyun’s arm. “And that’s why we aren’t together anymore.”

“So… what— what happens now?” Jonghyun knows what he wants, what he’s asking for, but the ball is in Minhyun’s court. After what he’s just been through, Jonghyun doesn’t dare to ask for more. He has no right to ask Minhyun for anything.

“Now... I guess, I’m single.” He draws his hand away from Jonghyun, leaving him feeling utterly bereft. “I’ve been with Daniel for nearly three years. I think it’s time I found my own way,” Minhyun says decidedly.

“I don’t know what that means.” Jonghyun nerves are making his voice tremble slightly. He has a sudden vision of Minhyun leaving them and going on a soul-searching journey or something of the like.

Jonghyun really wants to pour his heart out, to tell Minhyun everything he’s feeling, to tell Minhyun to stay with him and the boys forever, but he can’t. He can’t say anything.

“It means I might go out and meet people on weekends,” Minhyun concedes. “Only occasionally though. I think I should be single for a while.”

He looks at Jonghyun and smiles. Jonghyun thinks he can feel the smile against his lips, warm and tender and wet. He forces himself to look away. There are so many emotions growing inside of him, spinning and whirling, expanding into gas and dust. But all he can do is say nothing.

Minhyun stands and places his hand on Jonghyun’s shoulder, but not before leaning down to murmur lowly in his ear, “But not forever. Is that OK?”

Jonghyun can only nod, a half-smile forming, feeling a sense of relief.

Yes. That is more than OK.

 

☆

 

Things stay this way for a long time. They’re becoming their own little family, an unconventional one at that. Jonghyun is grateful because the boys are happy, and Minhyun just sort of acts like Jonghyun is a friend who leaves him in charge of the family. Like taking care of the boys, and even Jonghyun, is something that just comes naturally for him, like it’s something he was always meant to do.

It’s weird in a way that Jonghyun has trouble describing; one part strained with two parts comfortable. Minhyun cracks a few bad jokes and Jonghyun playfully smacks him with the dish towel.

“You’ve got ketchup on your cheek.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Ketchup.” Minhyun points to his own face. “You’re supposed to put it in your mouth. Not decorate yourself with it.”

“Oh.” Jonghyun tries to wipe at his cheek with the sleeve of his shirt.

“No, man. Oh, just come here,” Minhyun says, lifting a hand to thumb it away. “God, you can be so cute sometimes, but that’s where the boys get it from I suppose.”

There it is again. That wisp of emotional swell in the hollow of his gut whenever Minhyun says stuff like that.

“I can’t look at my own cheek,” Jonghyun snaps, slightly blushing. “Plus my hands are covered in dish soap,” he adds with a scowl, but the squabble is worth it when Joseph and Thomas break into a fit of giggles. Minhyun is suddenly laughing as well, startling Jonghyun, before he too is laughing along with the three of them.

Jonghyun’s almost overwhelmed by the urge to throw an arm around Minhyun and tug him close in a sideways hug. He restrains himself though because he respects Minhyun too much to cross that line. He doesn’t want to risk making Minhyun uncomfortable and destroy this near perfect arrangement that’s set in place.

“I told you Dongho and Aron are long lost soul brothers,” Minhyun proclaims after the laughter dies down. He hands Jonghyun a dirty plate to wash. Behind them, Joseph and Thomas sit at the kitchen table, doing their homework.

“I never said they weren’t,” Jonghyun shoots back. “I said Dongho gets along with everyone, so there are no surprises there.”

“Yes, but they adore each other,” Minhyun argues, passing over another dish. “I’m kind of jealous actually.”

Jonghyun snorts and shakes his head. “It’s always a bad idea to introduce Dongho to people. He sucks up all the good will to himself.”

Not that Jonghyun is actually worried. Aron and Minhyun hit it off immediately ever since Dongho introduced the two. In recent times, Aron has become fiercely protective of Minhyun. Jonghyun couldn’t ask for a better friend for him.

Other than himself, of course.

“I like Aron-hyung,” Joseph says idly.

“He’s funny,” Thomas says, in his soft, quiet voice.

“Even the kids like Aron more than me,” Minhyun complains, giving Jonghyun a wink.

“No way!” Joseph exclaims, and then Minhyun is forced to swoop over to tickle-attack Joseph and then of course, do the same to Thomas.

Jonghyun watches them from the sink and chuckles to himself.

 

☆

 

“But I’m not sleepy,” Thomas slurs even as Minhyun pushes him down into the pillow. Strictly speaking, it isn’t Minhyun’s job to put them to bed. He’s been off for three hours, but it’s been a year now since anyone paid attention to this kind of thing.

Sometimes Jonghyun has to forcibly remind himself that Minhyun isn’t his live-in boyfriend.

“I know you aren’t,” Minhyun says, smoothing Thomas’ bangs off his forehead. “But do me a favor. Shut your eyes and count to twenty-five.”

“One. Two. Three…”

He’s asleep by eight. Joseph is already dreaming across the room, snuggled up with the stuffed turtle Minhyun bought him. Jonghyun kisses both boys goodnight and meets Minhyun in the hallway.

“How did you do that? How do you get them to sleep so fa—”

There in the hallway, one arm clasping around Jonghyun’s waist, Minhyun pulls him close and captures Jonghyun’s lips in a kiss. It’s a tender kiss, leisure and innocent, a connection of familiarity rather than passion, and Jonghyun knows, one moment more and it could turn into every dark fantasy he’s had for the past twelve months.

He jerks back, his eyes wide open, lips wet and parted, breathless. “Minhyun?”

“I’m done waiting,” he confesses against Jonghyun’s mouth. “I was done a long time ago, but I hated the thought of changing anything.”

He was not expecting Minhyun to just come out and say it like that. If anything, Jonghyun feels relief because he wants the same, if not more. Jonghyun tries. He honestly tries so hard to not care for Minhyun as much as he does, but Minhyun keeps doing all the things that touches Jonghyun’s heart, leaving it exposed and bare, to beat only for him.

There are instances, moments where Jonghyun will be fine, minding his own business, then he’ll look over at Minhyun and Minhyun will already be looking back. He always gets this way when he’s around Minhyun, a swirling sort of sensation like he’s falling, or flying, and Jonghyun thinks he might be in love, like, fucking crazy in love because Minhyun is there, Minhyun is always there, sexy and distracting, glowing and bright, fitting himself into Jonghyun and his sons life like a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t belong, but somehow does anyway.

Thinking back on it now, Jonghyun doesn’t understand how he ever managed to live with Minhyun underneath the same roof, so damn close, without any complications. Without going _crazy_. He doesn’t think he’d be able to do it now. The desire, the pathetic ache for more at this moment is just too strong.

“You don’t hate it now?” he asks, sweeping his thumb along Minhyun’s jaw, his nerves sending blood roaring hot in his ears.

“No, I just realized something.” He pulls back enough to look at Jonghyun with insane intensity. “I’ve wanted you since the first day I stepped foot in this house, and the only thing that would change is that we’d be fucking.”

Something inside Jonghyun expands, like stars are bursting from his gut and spilling out through his veins flooding it with light. Jonghyun swallows. “Yeah?” he breathes, half-smiling, still in awe.

“Yeah,” Minhyun says, his words falling onto Jonghyun’s mouth like a warm tropical breeze, saying it like he’s saying a dozen things at once.

“I wanted you the first day I saw you too,” Jonghyun huffs out, and there’s a beat of silence before their lips are meeting again, and this time it tastes sweeter, feeling warmer and amazing in a million ways Jonghyun doesn’t have words for at all. He feels like he's falling, falling and falling… falling into Minhyun. Into light. Sunlight. Fading away into something like tangerine soda bubbles.

Minhyun opens his mouth a little wider on a heavy sigh, and Jonghyun slips his tongue in, tasting Minhyun’s tongue pressing right back, and the sensation travels all the way down to the expansion growing beneath the fabric of his pants.

It’s getting hard to breathe and he’s swallowing all of Minhyun’s sounds with kisses, he’s muffling them with his tongue, and his fingers are tangling themselves in Minhyun’s hair and pulling gently, keeping him close, even closer, closer than their bodies will allow.

“Minhyun,” Jonghyun starts, pulling away, but his voice is barely there. “Don’t you think we should— I mean, the boys might hear.”

Lost in the moment, Minhyun nods, breathless, his face flushed, lips swollen with kisses, and taking Jonghyun’s hand in his, he tears Jonghyun away from where he’s standing, pulling him down the hallway, practically bolting to the bedroom.

 

☆

 

Jonghyun feels like he’s floating in outer space. Everything around them feels soft and fuzzy. The curtains aren’t shut all the way, so the moonlight slants in through the windows and leaves squares of pale brightness across the room, making everything feel like a dream.

Minhyun’s body is a solid blanket against him, and he can feel the muscles on Minhyun’s back flex as Minhyun shifts around, rustling against him. Heat flares up all over Jonghyun’s skin like he’s soaking in the sun, and he can feel himself growing hard and harder, the soft sheets sweeping along his body making everything so much worse, making everything ten times better.

Minhyun groans against his mouth, as Jonghyun’s tongue slips out to flick gently over Minhyun’s lip. His hands are interlaced in Minhyun’s hair, tugging firmly at the silky-smooth strands as their hips brush together, just a little bit, just enough to have Minhyun break away from the kiss with another soft moan, and it’s this that Jonghyun’s been needing. This heavy proximity— Minhyun so close to him, not in his orbit, but part of a constellation that’s made up of just the two of them, moving together, while the stars spin out and sprinkle down on them like cosmic dust.

“Jonghyun,” Minhyun breathes, lowering his head so that he can lick back into the seam of Jonghyun’s lips until Jonghyun’s mouth opens up, until Jonghyun’s the one moaning out as Minhyun’s tongue darts inside. Minhyun’s rolls his hips, rocking into him. He doesn’t know if it’s conscious or not, but Jonghyun does the same, and damn. Now he’s really on fire.

“Hey,” Jonghyun breathes, pulling away.

“Mmm,” Minhyun hums softly. “Don’t stop. I like it when you kiss me,” and then he’s kissing Jonghyun, and it’s unlike anything, really, to be this way with Minhyun. Jonghyun could get addicted to this. He’s fighting the urge to touch himself at this moment, to ease the pulsing ache, and he wonders if they should bother in taking it slow and just go all the way. There’s zero control left in him. Only recklessness remains.

Everything is so much worse. Everything is ten times better. Jonghyun knows he’s doomed for when Minhyun’s hand travels down to take hold of him. Jonghyun groans from the sensation. Minhyun’s hand is tight and hot, _too_ hot, and it feels good, it feels amazing. Jonghyun is pretty sure it’s a normal hand, and that Minhyun is not particularly gifted. But to Jonghyun, everything he does is making his breath faster, shallower. Everything he does makes his skin tingle and burn with desire to be touched further, and perhaps Minhyun is really gifted, maybe Minhyun does really have amazing hands, maybe he really is incredibly good at this, or maybe Jonghyun’s just in love and Minhyun’s just godsend in his eyes.

Minhyun shifts his body until his hardness is right against Jonghyun’s. Jonghyun feels a little braver. He moves his hand lower to take hold of Minhyun too. Now they’re both pulling softly, stroking mildly, groaning at the same time their bodies slide against each other, their bodies sweaty and hot and burning, and Jonghyun’s vision blurs out a bit around the edges.

Like an ocean wave, they’re moving slowly, but they’re speeding up, and Jonghyun can’t form words in his head other than _fuck, fuck, fuck_. Jonghyun doesn’t hear anything else but their heaving breaths and the roaring beating of his heart.

His whole body erupts in explosive heat and he’s there, he’s coming, and the rough sounds he makes gets lost on Minhyun’s tongue. He chuckles, barely more than a breath as Minhyun follows after him, his body trembling and mouth falling open on a sinful moan.

Minhyun chuckles too, wild and sated. At that moment, with the moonlight washing over Minhyun’s face and softening the edges of him, Jonghyun thinks that he’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.

 

☆  

 

When Jonghyun blinks awake, his bedroom is filled with morning.

Pale light creeps slowly over the ceiling, sparkling off the specks of dust in the air, and for a moment, he’s not sure of what day it is. He can hear the sounds of traffic in the distance, and there’s a dull weight on his side— something heavy that makes Jonghyun frown and glance sideways.

Oh, right.

Minhyun’s sleeping beside him.

For a moment, he watches the way the mellow light pouring in through the curtains casts a play of abstract shadows and light over Minhyun’s smooth porcelain skin, using his face and body like a projector screen.

Minhyun breathes softly, his mouth slightly open, and Jonghyun’s heart skips a beat.

He remembers everything about last night. Every moment like a movie reel. Floating through space and time. The birth of new stars. The warm sounds of two heartbeats, Minhyun’s eyes on his face, Minhyun’s hands on his body, Minhyun’s mouth, everywhere, tasting, touching, teasing— both of them tangled in sheets, falling into each other and getting lost in nothing but the sounds of their own breathing.

He remembers how Minhyun had said, _I like it when you kiss me_.

“Appa?”

The first thought in Jonghyun’s mind is, _holy shit, we overslept_ , and he abruptly sits up, sheets pooled around his legs, the blanket a mess, his mind an even bigger one.

Joseph is standing at the foot of the bed, his big, innocent eyes wide and staring.

“Morning, little one.”

Jonghyun tries to play it cool, even though he knows his son wouldn’t have a clue what the adults were up to. He’s more grateful for the fact that he and Minhyun bothered to get dressed, even if they’re in the same clothes as before, but without their shirts on. Only, he’s wearing Minhyun’s sweatpants, and Minhyun is wearing his. Jonghyun has no idea how that happened, not that he minds at all.

Joseph looks back and forth between his father and the waking man next to him. He grins wildly, and the sunlight that hits him makes him look all soft and angelic, like a cherub.

“Are you going to marry Minhyun now?”

Minhyun shifts around and turns over, his long arm sliding over Jonghyun’s waist. “Someday,” he answers for Jonghyun, his voice hoarse with sleep. “Now go brush your teeth.”

 

~THE END~


End file.
